Last Night, I Dreamed My Mom Died

Sleep doesn’t come easy for me these days. Don’t ask me why – I wish I knew.

I fall asleep just fine, but staying asleep? Haha.

I used to be such a morning person – I could get up at 5:30am without hitting the snooze once and go about my day. I still consider myself a morning person, but getting up is a little more of a struggle.

I still wake up “early” I guess – earlier than most people. But more often than not I’m just drifting off into something deeper than a doze by the time the first alarm goes off at 6:30, and I don’t end up getting out of bed to feed the hungry kitties somewhere between 7:30-7:50am.

But sleep is healthy, and since I’ve been having so much trouble it’s good I get as much as I can.

I remind myself I don’t HAVE to get up at 5:30 anymore, as both my part-time gigs start in the afternoon. Sometimes I think, “sleeping in cuts into my writing time,” but does it really? I get up, feed the cats, make coffee, pack a lunch for my husband if he has to go into the office. We sit hand have coffee together, read the news, watch some silly YouTube videos.

Then I take a shower, and sit down at my desk until I have to go to work.

Maybe I’m not one of those super-ultra productive writers that populate blogging platforms like Medium like ants after a pastry picnic.

But you know what? I’m totally okay with that.

I think writing really only works best when you can find a way to fit it into the natural flow of your life. If you try to change things too much, then odds are you won’t meet your goals or get your “daily word count ” in, (if you believe in such a thing) and you’ll just end up feeling anxious and guilty.

I don’t think ANYONE creates their best work when they’re feeling anxious and guilty.

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Lately I’ve been taking CBD oil for my anxiety. It’s worked really well, and I highly recommend it for anyone who’s thinking about trying it. It dispels that tight knot that forms in my chest in the first hours after I get out of bed, and it helps uncluttered my thoughts so that when I DO sit down to work, even if it’s only for an hour or so, I get a lot done.

For example, I re-did my whole website yesterday. Have you seen it yet? I like it a lot – feels a lot more like *me* than the old one. Check it out and tell me what you think.

Mind, I’m not going for “professional.”

I’ve decided I hate that word – “professional.” I don’t really know what it means and whenever I try to “act” or “appear” as professional, I feel like an imposter.

For now I’ve decided to be genuinely me, see how far that goes.

Heck, I already feel better, so that’s something.

More later, readers….

Take care of yourselves.

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Friday morning thoughts: for you fiction writers out there, what do you use to build/get to know your characters? Do you have some online Q&As you follow, or did you make up your own? I was writing the other day and realized I don’t really know some of my characters that well. Would appreciate some tips or links if ya got ’em.

Published by Rebecca

Freelance content writer for eco-conscious businesses and non-profits. Lover of books, animals, and trees. YA fiction writer with THREE on-going WIPs.

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