I’ve talked before about my… relationship with freelance writing.

I don’t even really feel like I can say I was or am a freelance writer.

I did some research (fell down a click-bait Pinterest hole)

Took a class (a scam)

And made an account on Fiverr, a freelancer site.

I helped some clients, did some stuff, made some money.

No much – probably not more than $20 dollars a week.

But it felt like I did a lot more work than that. Boring work, work that drained my creative reserves and my time. I also didn’t feel like I was really good at it.

It felt fake. I felt fake doing it. I know the term “fake it til you make it” probably applies here, but… it sucked. It was one of those things I felt like I wasn’t getting any better at because I wasn’t getting the right kind of feedback. My clients, after all, weren’t writers and assumed I knew what I was doing.

While I appreciate the trust they had in me, I still felt like I was ripping them off.

I didn’t like it.

In October I went on a kind of hiatus from Fiverr – went “on vacation” and set my return date for December 1st.

Guess what I didn’t do December first?

Maybe I’ll go back to it – the thought right now the thought fills me with dread and anxiety.

And I mean, all the publications I’m sending my short stories to pay their writers…. so that’s something, right?